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December 13th, 2009

figureinplastic

02:08 am - i laugh until my head comes off i can't stand up with you leaning on me like this. i'm holding tight to a glass, half broken, and half drunk. images of gunshots and bloodflow make me happy. i'm exploding inside a chamber, i'm human destruction. i'm everything all of the time. i hate this music and this act and this feeling that you give me. i wish you could speak my language, but i know that would just make you hate me. you are beautiful, and that makes me count so much less, so much less, you don't count me. if you knew my language, we never would have met. every morning, i wake up and i am sick. my gums are bleeding, my teeth are rotten. i wake up with a mouth full of blood. i wake up with this taste, and i know i can just spit and rinse. it's the only answer: spit and rinse. Current Music: this is garbage.

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December 6th, 2009

figureinplastic

02:47 am - after hours i'm choking back the vomit. i can't send a message, i can't call. i can't say hello. my throat is burning, you spent all my money after hours. i laughed at the clientèle. i laughed at the crowd. i was asked, and i fell far far short. we smiled at photo after photo after. we smiled. but i left. tomorrow. take something new. take something else. miss. loose. phone. in. tomorrow. take something new. get some rest. sleep in. make. your. self. happy. 10. miles. then. you. die. turn. left. then. you. die. i sent a message, and it was poorly received, over and over and over. a fecal beach, a shoreline in cleveland that i miss more than i let on. i sickened tide, a cold wash, a childish dream: i hate the beach these days. i can't wake up without the smiles. photo after photo after photo. smile. i'm choking but i need to vomit.

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December 5th, 2009

figureinplastic

02:25 am next week, i'll make my millions.

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